Can you learn to care? Learning to be with our youngest children
I have never looked at a baby and said, “they’re so cute, can I hold them?” In fact, sometimes I still feel uncomfortable holding very young babies. However, throughout my nearly ten years in early childhood settings, I have become most interested in educating and caring for infants.
I spent the first five years of my career working with children aged three- to five-years-old. This seemed like my domain. I was confident and capable working in this age group. It seemed to come quite naturally, and I shaped my professional identity around working with older children. There was also the unspoken thought that as a male educator I should work with older children. Perhaps because I had the idea that being a Kindergarten Teacher held more professional status, or perhaps because I assumed that a maternal desire to care for very young children was a necessary prerequisite to be an Infant Educator.
It wasn’t until I moved into leadership roles within early childhood settings that I spent more time with the youngest children attending the service. Initially, when I found myself encountering younger children - especially infants - I did so with discomfort. I didn’t dislike younger children, but I didn’t know how to be with them. I developed a baseline understanding of working with infants during my vocational studies, but there’s much more to working with children than a qualification. A lot of the strategies I used to build relationships with older children didn’t translate to infants, so I had to learn a new set of skills if I wanted to be more comfortable with these younger children.
Learning to be with infants from infants
The first and most important thing I learned when developing my skills with infants was to change how I see them. Despite staunchly advocating that children are amazing, capable individuals, I didn’t realise I had an implicit bias which excluded infants from this view. I saw infants as incapable, unable to communicate, and entirely reliant on adults to tell them what they need.
However, as I spent time with these ‘incapable’ individuals, they started to teach me all the ways that I was wrong. Infants can communicate their needs to their caregivers, engage in and sustain relationships, and use their senses to explore their world. Once I had been humbled by these humans with less than 12 months of existence as an individual, I shifted my stance to overcome my bias toward the capabilities of infants.
It was from there I started to learn from the infants themselves. I got down on the ground and paid close attention to how they communicate, how they responded to my behaviour, and what they focused their attention on. This curiosity-based approach to working with infants allowed them to teach me the ways of being a young child and being with young children.
Professional learning about infants
My fresh view on infants as capable inspired me to engage in professional learning about infant-toddler education and care. While I learned a lot from being with infants, there is a lot to learn from infant-toddler professionals. Developmental neuroscience and attachment theory quickly became the most influential area of learning I undertook. To know that the way adult caregivers be in relationship with children can influence their lifelong developmental trajectory significantly changed how I view the education and care of young children.
I strongly recommend all early childhood professionals become familiar with the work of the Harvard University Centre on the Developing Child. It is from this institution I learned how children develop in an environment of relationships, and the significance of serve-and-return interactions (click here to learn more).
Another influential program I came to know about was the Circle of Security. Initially learning about COS during my university studies, then completing the Circle of Security Classroom Approach with Elise Disher, I learned how to see and meet the relational needs of young children (click here to see Elise’s work).
Where to now?
I still have a lot to learn about working with infants and young children. I would not call myself an Infant Educator as I have not work in a nursery as an educator, but I would call myself an advocate of high-quality infant-toddler education and care. The existing and emerging research in the areas of attachment, developmental science and neuroscience all demonstrate the significance of the earliest years of life, and it shows that our Infant Educators have the potential to shape children’s lifelong trajectory. As a leader in the early years, I want to support them to be valued for this potential.
So, can you learn to educate and care for very young children without the innate instinct to hold a baby when you see them? You absolutely can, and I believe it is one of the most valuable and impactful things you could do.
Disclaimer
The content in this post is my own opinion based on my professional knowledge and experience. All the information provided is true and accurate to the best of my knowledge, but there may be errors, omissions or mistakes. While I am an early childhood professional, the content in this post is general in nature and you must use your professional discretion when utilising the information provided.